Can you savour it without attachment?
The way to treat yourself is to be PRESENT when the treat is there, without getting attached to it.
Kleshas are the five mental afflictions or "poisons" in yoga philosophy and Buddhism—Avidya (ignorance), Asmita (ego), Raga (attachment), Dvesha (aversion), and Abhinivesha (fear of death)—that, according to yogic philosophy, cloud the mind and act as root causes of human suffering, hindering spiritual growth and maintaining negative life patterns
Avidya (Ignorance): Misunderstanding reality; not seeing things as they truly are. It is the root cause from which the other four emerge.
Asmita (Ego/I-ness): The false identification with the ego, body, or mind, rather than the true self.
Raga (Attachment): Craving, desire, or clinging to pleasurable experiences or objects.
Dvesha (Aversion): Fear, hatred, or avoidance of unpleasant experiences.
Abhinivesha (Fear of Death/Clinging to Life): The intense desire to live and fear of losing one's identity or physical existence.
Obstacles give us the opportunity to explore them and see where to redirect “What's in the way is the way. Whatever you are experiencing is a doorway into a more spacious place. So rather than resisting discomfort, you can learn how to open to what you are experiencing and explore it, without any need to have it be any different than what is is.”
― Mary O'Malley, What's in the Way IS the Way .
A lesson in our treats:
Many times we find ourselves compelled to follow each meal with a little sweet treat. A flavour so unique that it melts in our mouth washing away any lingering saltiness of the meal that came before it, leaving us feeling a little bit lighter and a little bit happier. Albeit it being a coffee, a pastry, a serving of fruit or even a piece of dark chocolate the craving for sugar is part of our mundane existence.
Sweet treats (especially when chocolate is involved) are about pleasure, enjoyment, and satisfaction. Dessert comes in a smaller portion than the main course because it's designed to deliver a concentrated moment of delight. Rich in sugar and fat, it's almost a shot of ecstasy for the taste buds, and, in theory, just a few bites should leave us satisfied. But that's not always how it unfolds. We've all experienced opening a chocolate bar, taking that first perfect bite, and before we know it, finishing the entire thing.
Why?
Perhaps because the craving isn't only for chocolate. We fall into the trap of never feeling like we have enough. We rush toward more—more money, more beauty, more success, more clothes, more trips, more love, more food—always believing that fulfillment lies just beyond what we already have. In that rush, we stop appreciating what's already on our plate, both literally and metaphorically.
When something wonderful happens, instead of sitting with it and truly savouring it, we immediately want more of it. We want it to last longer. We want to hold onto it. We begin worrying about when we'll experience it again before we've even finished living it. But it’s not even a positive passive kind of hope, it’s an anxious if-I- don’t-have-it-all-I’ll-be-left-with-nothing kind of hope. So we no longer feel fulfilled by the wonderful moment we’re experiencing because we’re already stressing about when and how we’ll be able to have more of it in the future.
I think that needy people are people that not only constantly want more, but live with the quiet belief that life itself won't provide enough.
The irony is that the more tightly we cling to the good moments, the less we actually experience them. Life isn't meant to remain constant. It changes, surprises, and challenges us in ways we could never predict.
Going back to chocolate: What if the sweetness you taste in it wasn't confined to the chocolate itself but became something you noticed throughout the rest of your day? The pleasure, the softness, the lightness—what if those qualities could live inside you rather than inside the wrapper?
Fullfillment has less to do with having more, and more to do with experiencing more deeply. The real practice is learning to release the fear of not being enough or not having enough, and instead allowing ourselves to receive this moment completely.
Let’s wake up to the fact that the world will always give us an excuse to get lost in a distraction of some sort, and it’s up to us whether or not we make the choice to elevate our awareness and direct our attention and intention.
And I do believe that the only way we can be certain of whether or not the future will be bright is a matter of how much pleasure, how much satisfaction, how much light, and how much love we can feel for ourselves right here right now. If we are able to get filled up by this moment, then we can be sure that the next moment and the one after will be just as good or even better.
Yours Truly,
Fernanda